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What Do You Choose?

Yesterday a neighbor was lamenting her life situation. She desperately wants to lighten up, to free herself from the burdens of negativity she feels from family, friends and the news of the day. She is reading all the right books, yet her old patterns persist.

While reading can inspire and guide, present new possibilities and confirm what we already know, reading is not the answer. The answer lies in choosing how to live.

My favorite chapter in Revolutionary Agreements is I Choose. I share excerpts with you here because it radically changed my life to make these declarations – and it can change yours, too.

The future is now: you are creating it in this very moment. What do you choose?

I choose to surround myself with like-minded, like-hearted (andlight-hearted!) friends. To surround myself with people…

… who I can trust to always speak their truth, with compassion for themselves and others;

…who understand that true collaboration within a rich diversity is what brings out the best in each of us;

… who I can trust to always take problems directly to the source (especially if it’s me!) and who will remind me to do the same;

…with whom I can effortlessly lighten up and feel completely free!

Sound simple?  Oh, how I wish it were!  It may be easy to apply these choices to new people we accept into our lives. But we can’t divorce our parents!  And what am I to do about my brother?  For goodness sake, I actually completed writingRevolutionary Agreements so that it might help him during a difficult time in his life. Did it help? Honestly, I don’t think he’s ever read it. Once during those difficult times I tried to get his attention by saying, “You are acting like a victim.” He responded, “I AM a victim!”

Aargh! What to do?

I had immediately slipped into judgment. And then I remembered: I have a choice. When faced with someone who does not practice the Agreements, I can choose one of two things: to be in judgment or…here comes the BFO (blinding flash of the obvious)…I can choose to live by the Agreements!

I remembered that at the heart of the matter, these Agreements are first and foremost Agreements with myself. I feel oh-so-much better when I focus on seeing the best in my brother (rather than focusing on what Agreements I think he should practice); when I honor his choices (instead of being self-righteous about my own); and when I lighten up. Yes!

What’s your choice?

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